The Blogging Feeling I have....

I was reading through one of the blog I use to follow, and one of her post made me ponder a lot. She said she use to love to blog about her life, documenting her thoughts, the dramas she faced, her love, her believes,.....just everything about who she was and what she is. Ultimately at that point of time she wanted to well, I guess express herself and now she has found no motivation to blog anymore. And whenever she opens blogger, nothing seems to motivate her to write.

Honestly, I somehow felt that way at one point of time.

You feel lost as to the purpose of why you are blogging, or in the first place, why are you here? You start asking questions like "who's gonna read my shit"...... or ......"why should I tell people about my life?"..... and also you began to think "Gosh the whole world is going to read about my life, and start talking about it!!!"....and what I really hate was people coming up to me and talking about what I write and laughing about it too.

Ok, obviously the pessimistic side of me was stronger than I think it is........

But still, I loved reading blogs and people's life journals intrigue me to a point it still lingers it's pulling power to make me write again. But I was in a phase in life, where nothing in life excites me (except my boyfriend excites me, lol sounds so wrong) and I felt that my life was literally dull, mundane, and lifeless which to me, was not blog worthy. I didn't think anyone would like to read my blog. Furthermore when I was bloging last time, things were kind of exaggerated to look fun but in reality, it's really just, maybe, mehhh......

But obviously life takes a change, and you find youself in a whole new dimension and environment, and somehow life seems to be interesting again. You begin to ponder a lot, recap what you have done, re-evaluate and just, you know, want to express it. And make a change. And that's when you know, you are blog worthy. 

To tell the truth, my life has seriously took a 180 degree turn, and in fact it's so drastic and sudden that never in your life would you imagine to be facing it. It's a mixes of happiness, and sadness, and this whole topsy turvy feeling in reality has made me change to be different, in which I hope would be a good change.

What's happening to me is legit for a whole post of its own. And perhaps I might jot it down not just merely for viewing pleasures, but for me to remember all the things that have happened in my life. So that when the time comes for me to reflect, I can tell my life's history through this blog.

(a journey on a lonely lane)

And yes, the last post I was feeling dark and gloomy. Well, dark times, unfortunate events......

But now it's a mixed feeling.....and I am writing with neutral, mixed, assorted feelings inside in which explains the change of the background of the blog again....

It's white,....neutral......like a white canvas to paint on anything.


-feelings-